I've pastored in three churches over the last 17 years. Perhaps you could call me a "hopper" too. I've served in a church of over 4000, one under 100, and one roughly inbetween those figures. Each church represents a part of the bride of Christ that serves and ministers differently. Each church has strengths and weaknesses, glory and shame, love and conflict, inspiration and issues. In short, churches and pastors are a lot like people: We have good days and bad, hard seasons and joyful ones. And depending on which day you meet us, you may get an accurate impression of us or inaccurate. A lot of us have very high expectations when we're shopping for a church: Some of us want a strong youth and children's ministry and some of us just want hard-core preaching. Others could care less about the pastor's sermons as long as they get their 2-3 hymns or their contemporary choruses with drums. Some call their church "their church" simply because they're asked to sing there 4-5 times a year--- and that's all that matters. Some call their church "their church" because their family has been going there for decades. Others don't prioritize their choice of a church by relationship or whether the church has a large multi-faceted ministry or not--- they just want to know that someone noticed they were there and that someone is going to pray for them next week during their MRI. In reality, we're all human and we all have different needs and expectations. These needs and expectations change with life's inevitable seasons and we want our church to keep up with us. And so we have the church... God's blessed bride, which He loves so much, and that we should, as Scripture commands, be a vital part of. The church, if you will, is God's institution where a multiple number of needs can be met--- by others, for your benefit... and by you, for others' benefit. But let's be honest: Sometimes it just doesn't work like we think. Pastors and elders at times don't emphasize what we think should be emphasized. Members at times don't reach out to us or really ask how we're really doing. Sometimes money is spent in the church on things others think are crucial and we just don't. Sometimes weeks can go by and we wonder if, were we to all of a sudden disappear, would anyone even notice? Now let's get real honest: Some of us have been flat out "burned" by churches. Some of us find it hard to find a church because... well... we're not really sure we want to "go through that again." You've been burned and you're still a little shell-shocked to jump into any church right now.

Whatever your journey in church seeking, church shopping, or church experiences, let me share a few things that I hope will encourage you in discovering just the right church:

1. Take your time to find the right church. Be intentional about this just as you did (or would) in discovering your spouse. Do your homework by exploring their web site, ask them to mail you a bulletin, or just show up with your teenager at mid-week youth group. Always visit more than just once. I recommend attending at least four churches over the course of two-to-three months. Make an appointment with the pastor (or his assistant) and ask your questions. Don't run at the first uncomfortable sight. Share your negative or positive experience that you had with your previous congregation(s). Be honest and up-front and make it clear that you're looking for the right church. If you truly seek, you'll likely truly find.
2. Christ loves the church--- even with all its warts and pimples. The church is the Bride of Christ and we know from the book of Ephesians that Christ laid His life down for the church and that He loves His bride, the church, dearly. If you're disappointed or disillusioned with the church, remember God's love is unconditional and bigger for that body of believers than its issues and imperfections.
3. There is no perfect church. Because churches are made up of needy people that at times can become selfish (including leadership), you can count on the fact that the church may well offend you. I like what Pastor Kent from Portland, Oregon says to his new members: "If we haven't offended you yet, just hang around a little longer." This is why Paul writes so much instruction to churches on how to "bear" with one another. If the church were to be perfect and "smooth sailing" all the time, there would be no need for Colossians Chapter 3. Remember to read this and discover just how "human" God's church is--- even from the beginning of time.
4. God uses imperfect people and leadership to do His perfect work in our lives. There's a Scripture in the Bible that says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Just think, when we decide to join a church and commit to it, we have agreed to be a loving member of that body of believers who in turn, have a commitment to do the same for us. Now we all know that love is not always "warm fuzzies." What does love look like for a parent when they discover their teenager is addicted to crack? What does love look like for a wife who discovers her spouse is having an affair? Sometimes love involves conflict and that, for a good reason, despite what the recipients might be thinking when they experience corrective "love." Now it was the poet Emerson who said, "Every man is my superior in some way. In that I can learn from him." Emerson knew this God-ordained principle found the Bible: It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. (Ephesians 4:11-13). Think about it. Your local imperfect body of believers at your church has something God wants to expose them to through you and God wants to teach you something through them! God uses imperfect people and He uses conflict. Its the way God works--- yield to it. So, when we get encouraged, let us thank God. When we get discouraged or disillusioned, let's communicate and wrestle through it before just leaving for a "better" church.
5. Don't quit hoppin until you're ready to settle in. Some folks hop because they like to hop. Some folks hop from church to church because they're really not ready to commit to any church. They make time for church once a month and go somewhere different because it's a little embarrassing to show up at the same place when you only come once a month.
6. Look not for what your church can do for you but rather what you can do for your church. When you do enough hoppin' and you're ready to settle in, take the initiative to sit down with your pastor or his assistant and let him know a little bit about you so he knows how to get behind you. Go ahead. Join the Children's Team or the Women's left-handed Bowling League Outreach. By "knocking" on the door, it will likely be opened unto you.
7. After joining a church, let five people close to you know that you've made your decision. This is good accountability for you and will help you be mature when six months down the road your feathers get ruffled on point #2 of pastor's sermon. The natural ebb and flow of being a part of a church family is more important than you know. Commitment, faithfulness, and longevity are Christian values. Put them into practice--- even if things get chaotic.

Blessings in your search.